When one door closes, another one opens. You’ll find something better. When a door closes, a window opens. Every ending is a new beginning. You’re better off without it. It’ll all work out in the end. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. These clichés, rationalizations, and Semisonic lyrics are meant to be comforting in times of hardship or rejection. But why is it that they are considered comforting? They aren’t really all that comforting when you are on the receiving end of them. Here was this opportunity that you were excited about- it may not have been perfect, but you were excited nonetheless. You thought you knew what the next step was, but now that step isn’t there. The opportunity didn’t pan out, and people who don’t really understand what you’re going through give out these clichés like free candy. Yes these sayings are something to say when you don’t know what to say. I’ve said them all before and had many people say them to me. Just because that’s the standard thing to say to someone, doesn’t mean it’s what the other person wants to hear or needs to hear. It’s become the equivalent of asking someone how they are when you don’t care how they are doing and them replying with “Fine. How are you?” when they aren’t fine and don’t really want to know how you are. When did we all become these creatures who merely say what we think the other person wants to hear? As kids we never thought like that. We just said what was on our minds until we were taught to be polite and respectful. At least I was. It wasn’t my place to put my hardships or struggles onto someone who is just being polite. But when did we just start assuming that people are only being polite when they ask? What if they really do care how I’m doing today? How will I ever know if I don’t open up to people? If the things we say to others are never anything more than social conventions, then when and how do we ever make genuine connections to those around us? If we don’t feel a connection to the world around us, and subsequently the people in our lives, how do we know when there is a true ending and something new begins? I moved out of my house at school this weekend. In the last few weeks, I finished my final college courses, moved home, got my diploma, and officially moved all of my stuff out of my house at school and into storage. All that should signify the ending of my college career. And since every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end (yes I listen to too much late ‘90’s pop), I should be in a new beginning. My last beginning ended so now I’m in a new one. But this one is feels the same. My life should be different, or at least feel different, but it’s all the same. I still don’t have a prospect on a job and it seems like everyone I know is working towards something while I’m just treading water. I thought officially leaving Winston-Salem would signify the end of that chapter of my life and allow for the next to start. But that doesn’t just happen. I don’t feel any different between before school finished, I moved home, and I moved out of my house. You have to make the change happen. That’s life lesson #2: if you want something to change, you have to change it. Simple enough, right? When you don’t have the ability to change the thing that needs changing, you have to learn to be ok with it and then do everything in your power to change it. I’m trying to change my situation and just waiting for the universe to catch up. So what now?
A Millennial’s Real Time Step-by-Step Guide for Learning to be a Grown-Up.